Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Awe Inspiring

A friend who shall remain nameless has sent me a truly titanic work of literature, entitled Tempting the Fire, by Sydney Croft. I'm not entirely sure what genre you'd put it in - torrid romance, perhaps. It combines - wait for it - cryptozoology and porn. It's so bad that I'm surprised it hasn't created a singularity of crapness and eaten my bookshelf. I haven't actually been able to bring myself to read it yet, but the blurb on the back cover promises delights beyond mortal understanding.

Deep in the Brazilian Rainforest, a team of Navy SEALS has been nearly wiped out. Note the "nearly" - Navy SEALS are so bodacious that they never get totally wiped out, even by "a mythical monstrosity with a taste for human blood." Plot spoiler: it's the Chupacabra! Anyway, the Federal government does what it always does in these situations - it dispatches a pair of hot chicks to investigate.

"Sela is an expert on cryptozoology..."

OK, you've lost me right there. She's a woman, she's hot, and she's interested in cryptozoology? Yeah, right. 

"Sela is an expert on cryptozoology with a sideline skill that could prove invaluable." Making fire by rubbing sticks together? Fluent speaker of Yanomami? No.

"When she makes love to a man, she ingulfs his innermost thoughts."

Hmmm, not what I would have thought of at first, but I guess it might come in handy. Anyway, I for one can't wait to find out how Sela and her pal fare in "this sweat-drenched realm of danger and deception," since my experience of fieldwork in tropical rainforests suggests that passion usually falters in the face of the intractable fungal infections that attack one's groin from day one. Oops, TMI.

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