Friday, April 29, 2011

I Was Glad

I came downstairs this morning to find the pink-cheeked and strangely featureless visage of David Cameron bellowing Jerusalem out of my TV screen in hi-def. For a moment I was disconcerted. Then a strange wave of calm washed over me. You may wake up in Britain next week with no job, no healthcare, no police, no museums or libraries, crippling university fees, and the Liberal Democrats demolishing your electoral system so that their odious brand of unprincipled and opportunistic politics will have a stranglehold on power for decades to come. But relax. After years of false Labour egalitarianism, once again you live in a country run by Old Etonians and people called St John and Ffoulkes, where even the daughter of flight attendants can grow up to be a queen, provided they have the gumption to make themselves into millionaires. Rest easy, Britain - all is well.

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